...the ability to recognize sinful behavior and a driving compulsion to confront individuals, groups and/or cultures. The gift of prophecy is the ability to communicate God’s Word with power, conviction, and clarity, and to apply it to the specific situation of the hearers.” ... Prophecy refers to speaking the truth, especially regarding right and wrong.
It basically means seeing things that don't fit and pointing them out. But having the "gift" stinks sometimes, because it's easier to shut up than it is to confront anyone about anything. I have tamed way down and sometimes just convinced myself that this "truth" I see so clearly is really just my not-so-humble opinion and that I should shut my mouth. In fact, I have done this so much that the last time I took the test, prophecy wasn't showing as one of my gifts. I think that after years of attempting to manage this "gift" I feel like Isaiah did when he wrote these words in Isaiah 49.
But I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.
Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand,
and my reward is with my God."
I get discouraged, as well, when people want to shut me down or shut me up. The messages that I proclaim are not ones that people want to hear many times. They don't want to hear about grace and mercy, they want to hear about justice. They don't want to hear about forgiveness and loving their enemies, they want to hear about revenge. They don't want to be confronted about their anger, they want to have me say it is justified and allow them to continue to remain in negative patterns. When I see something clearly in Scripture, they don't want me to repeat it if it disagrees with what they are thinking. And so I try to shut myself up. Isaiah was at the same point and yet he realized that his reward was with God and not with other people.
And God's response:
5 And now the LORD says—
he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring Jacob back to him
and gather Israel to himself,
for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD
and my God has been my strength-
6 he says:
"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
to restore the tribes of Jacob
and bring back those of Israel I have kept.
I will also make you a light for the Gentiles,
that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."
In other words, "you're doing good, isaiah -- in fact, you got bigger things coming! I have big plans for you. Stop being discouraged, you're going to bring salvation to the whole earth!"
Many of the ideas that I talk to people are not my own. They are straight from Scripture. And yet I have backed down and lately concluded that I"m not going to be able to make a difference because people don't want to hear it. Life has gotten all messy, and simplistic answers don't seem to fit, or so people say. But do they fit? Is it really possible that God is just asking us to do what he called us to do, walk the path ahead, do what is right, speak out when we should, remain convinced God is in charge, and move forward? It might be simplistic, but it's truth.
This morning I heard a song on the radio and I caught a few words I hadn't heard in it before.
I’m not sittin’ down ’til I’m older
And I’m not shuttin’ up ’til it’s over
Raise your hands and shout if you’re with me
Then once we start it won’t make a difference
If you wanna live life loud, throw your hands up
If you wanna scream and shout, lemme hear you
Takin’ all the fakers out if you’re with me
Everybody work it, just keep living
Thirty years ago when I was approaching seventeen I was convinced that I was going to live life loud. I was going to make a difference. I was going to change the world. I'm approaching 47 now, my life more than half over. But am I really done?
I hope not And I hope you're not either. Come on everybody, let's live life loud!
2 comments:
amen
But I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.
Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand,
and my reward is with my God."
Wow. How timely. I have been repeating these same feelings to my husband over and over lately. I listen at church every Sunday and I wonder am I making any difference at all. And what can I do to make the change to make a difference even if only one life at a time.
I so often feel like a failure at parenting our adopted kids. So far the two older ones left home after 18 and still in high school. Fortunately both received their diplomas. We have one left at home who threatens the same thing all the time. She will be 18 in December. I have to continue to remind myself that these kids still have free will and our consistency in parenting them will hopefully someday open their eyes and allow them to see God's love for them. I keep telling our pastor, God has a purpose for us and we may not find out what that purpose is for awhile, but I want to stick around to see what it is.
Our kids don't like to hear the truth either. And we try very hard not to make it OUR truth and to make it HIS Truth by using scripture to back things up.
I also feel my job has no worthwhile purpose other than giving my husband and I health care and paying the bills. I'd really love to scale back a little at a time and do something meaningful with my time. Baby steps I guess.
-T-
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