Grace for the Ungrateful

Luke 17:11-19 (The Message) says:

"It happened that as he made his way toward Jerusalem, he crossed over the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten men, all lepers, met him. They kept their distance but raised their voices, calling out, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!"

Taking a good look at them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests."

=They went, and while still on their way, became clean. One of them, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, shouting his gratitude, glorifying God. He kneeled at Jesus' feet, so grateful. He couldn't thank him enough -- and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus said, "Were not ten healed? Where are the nine? Can none be found to come back and give glory to God except this outsider?" Then he said to him, "Get up. On your way. Your faith has healed and saved you."

I was listening to a sermon on my Iphone this morning by Tullian Tchividjian, who is the grandson of Billy Graham and who pastors the Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. The sermon series is called "Pictures of Grace" and I was listening to the second sermon.

He points out that the most surprising thing about this story is that Jesus healed them all KNOWING that only one of them was going to say thank you. I was very convicted by what he said next.

He commented that all of us are more than willing to do nice things for people who we know will appreciate it and who will remember to say thank you. But we are reluctant to serve the ungrateful, especially those we know are not going to express any thanks at all for what we do.

It hit me how un-Christlike and ungracious I am in this area. For some reason when we adopted a bunch of kids we convinced ourselves that somehow they should be and would be grateful for what we had done for them. That couldn't have been farther from the truth. In fact the kids were the opposite of grateful -- they had a sense of entitlement and were rude and disrespectful. And so years ago I began to resent doing things for those who would not say thank you.

So it's time for me to re-frame my thinking. Identifying with Jesus in this aspect of his suffering might just be what it will take for me to move beyond myself and to recognize that grace is not fair and it is not about me.

When I fully understand grace and how undeserving I am of all that God has done for me, it should move me to extend grace to others, regardless of whether or not they will respond with gratitude or express their thanks.

I am challenging myself -- and you -- to make a point to do something nice for someone who you know won't let you know that the appreciate it. Think of one of the most ungrateful people you know and then make a point to extend grace to them, regardless of the results.

I am so glad that God doesn't choose to bless me only on the days that He knows I will remember to say thank you....

The Weaker I get the Stronger I Become.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10 in the message says:

I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size -- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

All of us have something -- in this post I refer to it as a Chair. It is something hard that God has given us. Paul refers to it as a handicap above.

But what amazing words Paul has about those things... he basically is saying that we need to embrace and appreciate hardship as a GIFT. Wow is that counter to all that we as humans want to do! We want to hate it. We want to complain about it. We tend to get bitter and resentful and critical because God has given us this hard thing (or sometimes, because we have unknowingly chosen it).

What an amazing concept -- the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

To me it is a mystery. One I think about in tears today. But I'm finding it to be true in my life and it is such a profound blessing.

The weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Hope Has No Data

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Romans 8:24-26

This morning before church I wrote in my adoption blog about how I was feeling a sense of hope about the coming school year. If you have followed my blogs you'll know why we have reason for disappointment -- there have been many times in the past where I have had hope that ends up not turning out so well.

So I went to church with this sense of a possibility of hope for our next year and sat down and began, as the service continued, to feel that same sense of hope in regards to our next year as a church as well.

And then my husband's voice chimed into my head. "Where's your data?"

For the past 15 years I have been telling him, "It's bound to get better." And yet it hasn't. In fact, most times it has gotten worse. And so he has began to ask me when I begin to express hope and anticipation about good possibilities ahead, "Where is your data?"

This morning I felt myself asking God that question and this is the response I kept getting over and over again. "Hope that is seen is no hope at all." Obviously this verse had been one I had memorized once a long time ago and God used it to help me realize something. Hope has no data.

It takes me back to this passage in Romans 5:1-5:

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. 3And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

Maybe I've been through those stages long enough to realize that I have a hope that is not going to disappoint me. Sure, things may not turn out the way I had planned, but this hope -- this hope that is not seen -- is NOT going to disappoint.

I'm thankful that God had a response for me today.... I don't need data. I just need hope in the One who has promised to never disappoint....

What's My Focus?

"So they called the two apostles back in and told them that they must never, for any reason, teach anything about the name of Jesus. Peter and John answered, 'Do you think God wants us to obey you or to obey him? We cannot keep quiet about what we have seen and heard.'" Acts 4:18-20 CEV

In finishing up Joni's book "A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain and God'Sovereignty", I was very challenged by a paragraph where she quotes Dave Powlison, who at the time of the writing of the book was battling cancer but able to face the challenges of the disease while keeping an emotional balance. He tells Joni his secret, and she quotes him in the book.

Joni, I have learned that for every one sentence you say to others about your cancer, say ten sentences about your God, your hope, and what He is teaching you, and the small blessings of each day. For every hour you spend researching or discussing your cancer, spend ten hours researching and discussing and serving your Lord. Relate all you are learning about cancer back to Him and His purpose, and you won't become obsessed (with fears and doubts).

Wow. While I don't have physical disabilities, I do have a "chair" like I talked about yesterday. I am parenting difficult children who have mental illnesses, developmental delays, and emotional and behavioral disorders. Some have organic brain damage due to prenatal exposure to alcohol. And so the challenge to me came across very clearly:

For every one sentence, particularly the negative ones, that I say about parenting my kids, I need to say ten sentences about my God, my hope, and what He is teaching me and the small blessings of each day. And while I don't research my children's issues as much as I used to, the rest can apply as well.

One of the things that I have noticed about people who get together for "support" for any hard thing, is that the support group meetings can get negative. But what if we were to practice this rule?

So today, I'm asking you -- when it comes to your "chair", that I mentioned yesterday, where is your focus? Is it on the situation of your life or on the One who can and does sustain you through that situation?

The apostles, in the verses above, said that they would not be able to stop talking about what they had seen and heard. And I imagine that they weren't talking about just the difficult things that they had seen and heard -- the suffering of Jesus, the pain of watching him die, the diseases and troubles of the people around him -- but they were talking about the One who in the midst of those things not only healed and helped, but conquered death.

If our focus is on Jesus -- we won't be able to keep quiet about what we've seen and heard -- and at the heart of every conversation we have is going to be God's power and provision in our lives.

I'm hoping as I write, speak and educate others about my children and what it is like to parent them, that I can keep my focus on the One who is teaching me more than I ever imagined through my life with them.

Want to join me in shifting focus?

What is your Chair?

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Phillipians 3:10-11

I have been reading through Joni Eareckson Tada's book, "A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain and God'Sovereignty" and I must admit that while it is very true and I agree with what she is saying, that it is a hard book to read. But it's a book I need to read.

She wrestles with questions that we all ask -- why God heals some people and why He doesn't heal others, why suffering exists when He could take it away with but a thought in our direction. And many of her conclusions are not what we want to hear. She talks about how there is growth through pain, about how our relationship with God is deepened through our struggles.

When Bart and I were heading to bed last night, I told him that Joni -- after spending over 40 years as a quadriplegic and now battling chronic pain and breast cancer, said in her book that she would not trade the depth of the relationship she has with God for her chair (wheelchair).

And Bart said, "Don't you think everyone has their own chair?"

And it got me thinking about how that works -- how we each have things that we go through -- some of them publicaly and many privately, that are our "cross to bear." And we would prefer for God to take those things from us -- because we don't want to go through them. But instead HE knows that we need them.

The task then, is not for us to focus on how to get rid of those things that force us closer to God's heart, but to learn from them and grow closer to Him.

So I ask you to join me in asking these questions:

What is my wheelchair? What are the things that I view as difficult in my life? Am I running away from the purpose God has for me in them? Or am I willing to accept them and grow closer to God because of them? Will I allow them to produce fruit in me? Am I really willing to participate in His suffering, as Paul wrote, in order to experience the power of his resurrection?

Tough tough questions. In one section of her book, Joni writes:

My Christian life became a wounding work and remains so during this current crisis of chronic pain. My heart has been set to God's like a grafting cut into the living heart of an apple tree. Whether I like it or not, it has been heart to heart and back to back, with so much doubt and fear, heartache and tears. It has definitely not been a smooth, easy-going process -- and to this day it isn't.

...

Friend, you may be going through a time of wounding right now and, if you are, take heart, because your heart is being set to God's, and there is no saving work apart from pain. Your life will produce so much more fruit from it all -- fruit that you probably won't even see or know about.

For those whom God loves, He grafts.

Just remember what I have learned these many years: Apart from Him, you can do nothing. But IN HIM, with his life sap flowing through your branch and leaves, you have strength for everything. He said so.

And somehow, the result of all that cutting and wounding, grafting and healing, will be fruit beyond what you have ever produced.

I'm praying that God will help me to learn how to sit back and relax in my "chair", knowing full well that He has a purpose and that He knows why I'm here, how long I'll be here, and what the results will be.

Because if all my energy is spent in the struggle to fight the fact that I'm in this particular chair, then I won't have the energy to embrace the God who sits in it with me and learn the lessons He has for me.

Teach me, Lord, what you have for me to learn today...

Make Me Like Jesus

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Last night was Maundy Thursday . I went to church feeling quite unstable. One son had had a meltdown. Two others were being ten times more obnoxious than usual. Even the "good kids" weren't happy about going church on a Thursday night when their friends were all out socializing. I had a conversation with an adult child that made me profoundly sad. I was emotionally spent.

When I got there Bart preached a profound sermon.... He talked about family dysfunction and how Jesus knew all about that. He sat at a table at the last supper with his disciples knowing that one was a betrayer, one of them was a denier, and the other ten were going to run away as soon as trouble come. And yet He shared a meal with them -- He remained true to Himself -- and he served them, even washing their feet.

I couldn't help but think of my children. There are twelve of them. Through the years some of them have done those things to us. They have denied being part of our family and told us repeatedly that we aren't our "real parents." They have betrayed us -- lied, stolen our things and money, and made false allegations against us. They "run away" from us emotionally when things are difficult.

I started to think about all of the years that I had asked God to make me like Jesus. But I realized it was never my wish to be made like Jesus when it comes to His suffering. I'll take the glory, but keep the suffering, thank you very much.

I confess that I have not been looking forward to the weekend. Our kids who live here and have multiple issues make it miserable here during holidays and the kids who don't live here coming back expecting to have a good time which isn't always possible here.

But my call from God this Easter is to be like Jesus -- and sit at a table with those I love so much who have stolen from me, lied to me, used me, and hurt me again and again. And like Jesus, it is my assignment not let them get to me -- to be true to myself, to love them, serve them, share with them and recognize that without God's grace I'm no better than they are.

The above song was playing as I prepared for communion at church last night. I hadn't heard it before and I sat there in tears, realizing for the first time that I needed to be carried to the table to take communion. And when I stood there, it so happened that all eight of our kids that live here were standing around in the same circle with me.

I realized just how much God loves each and every one of them. I realized that sometimes my attitude towards them is not at all like God's. I realized that I am just as broken as they are and just as much in need of the cross, salvation, and God's grace.

It was a humble realization. None of us get to choose how God makes us like Jesus, but it is very clear that it will involve suffering. And this weekend the way that I will share in that suffering is to look with love upon those who have a long history of doing and saying unloving things to me.

I shared all this because maybe your family isn't perfect and your holiday might be difficult as well. And possibly we can encourage each other to have a servant's heart and serve lovingly, remaining true to who we are in the midst of the dysfunction around us.

I have long ago learned that the only person I can change is me. So I'd simply like to conclude my Easter weekend with the knowledge that I did all I could do and then decide that that is enough.

On Not Being Ananias

Acts 9:10-17 says,

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

11 The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12 In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

13 “Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. 14 And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”

15 But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. 16 I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

I have heard two sermons about Ananias in the last 24 hours and have been pondering this idea. What if Ananias had said no?

You know the story -- Saul is knocked to the ground, blinded, and confronted by Jesus for persecuting Him. He is told to go find Ananias.

Then God tells Ananias what to do -- Hey, Ananias, I've got a favor for you -- I need you to pay a visit to the most famous Christian-killer you know --

Wow, fun, huh? Ananias points out a few facts to the Lord, but eventually, because He really was LORD to Ananias, he obeys.

So what if Ananias would have said no?

God would have just picked someone else. Saul still would have become Paul, used by God to convert thousands and to write books that we read and study today. God's plan wouldn't have been messed up.

But Ananias would have been left out of one of the biggest stories in the history of Christianity. As he heard stories about Paul over the next years, he would have had to watch what he missed out on ... this big opportunity to influence one of the most powerful voices in Christian history that mankind has ever known.

Who is God asking you to talk to today? You have no idea who that person might be some day. I think this story and though long, it illustrates my point perfectly and so I share this story:

In the year 1854, a 17-year-old boy was working in a shoe shop in Detroit. He didn't know Christ and had no interest in matters of spirituality or religion. But, he had been forced to go to Sunday school, like a lot of kids these days. One day, his Sunday school teacher went to the shoe shop where this boy was working and said, “Hey, I’m worried about you. I want to talk.” So, they went into the basement of the shoe store, where the Sunday school teacher led the young man to Christ. The Sunday school teacher’s name was Edward Kimball, and the 17-year-old boy’s name was D. L. Moody. We now know that he went on to become one of the greatest evangelists in the world, and he shared the gospel with 100 million people. And this was in the age before modern technology. Pretty incredible! And of course, Moody also founded the Moody Bible Institute and Moody Memorial Church in Chicago. His name is well known in the Christian community, even today, more than a hundred years later.

Now, it’s kind of cool to see that Moody went on to influence a man named F.B. Meyer, a London pastor and an intellectual who never focused on Jesus. Meyer’s congregation told him that they wanted this newly famous evangelist, Moody, to come speak to them. So, Meyer reluctantly agreed to let his congregation bring in Moody.

Meyer, who had a lot of intellectual pride and was ashamed of the name of Jesus, invited Moody to do a revival in his church. When Moody showed up, Meyer immediately took a dislike to him. He didn’t like him because Moody was not well dressed, and because he only had a fifth grade education.

Meyer had doctorates, and he was brilliant. So, he kind of looked down on Moody. But, Moody got up to preach in Meyer’s church and was anointed by the Holy Spirit. The power of God was upon him. And, as he spoke, he focused on Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

As such, hundreds upon hundreds of people came to faith in Jesus Christ that day from the pews of Meyer’s beloved church. Because of this, Meyer was embarrassed and consumed with jealousy. After the revival, Moody quietly left, leaving Meyer with his congregation and with his jealousy and anger.

Two weeks later, Meyer was talking with one of his Sunday school teachers, and the teacher said, “You know, I used to focus on all kinds of stuff and never focused on Jesus, but Moody taught me to focus on Jesus. So, I’ve been focusing on Jesus over these last two weeks and I want to tell you about this boy who accepted Jesus during my class.”

As he told the story, Meyer began to weep. The Holy Spirit broke through; he was convicted and supernaturally changed. For the rest of his life, he preached Jesus to all who would listen.

As the years went by, Meyer influenced J. Wilbur Chapman; J. Wilbur Chapman influenced Billy Sunday; then Billy Sunday influenced Mordecai Ham. And it was Mordecai Ham who led Billy Graham to Christ. Get it? Spiritual dominoes.

You see, it’s incredible, the power of the gospel. To think of Edward Kimball, D.L. Moody, F.B. Meyer, J. Wilbur Chapman, Billy Sunday, Mordecai Ham, and then Billy Graham, all in a row, one going to the next, and then the next, by the power of Christ, only serves to tell us that we need not fear. We should share the gospel with confidence and joy.

When we tell someone about Jesus, we have no way of knowing what the domino effect is going to be. In our lifetime, we may not even be aware of the full harvest of souls brought to the kingdom of God simply because we remain faithful to the call. So, please be faithful.

When Billy Graham did come to Christ through the preaching of Mordecai Ham, it was during a tent meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina, in 1936. Graham, born in 1920, was 16 years old, didn't know Christ, and was "sowing his oats," as many a young man is known to do. He had a 16-year-old buddy, and they were just hanging out when they thought, “Hey, let's go into this tent and hear what this whacko has to say.”

So they were just clowning around when they went into that tent. Once inside, they realized that there was no room for them; they couldn’t find any seats. So Billy said to his buddy, “Let's get out of here.” As they turned to leave, an usher standing there saw them and said, “Hey, guys.” He put his big arms around their shoulders and said, “You know, hey, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Let me take you to a seat.” So, the usher took them to a seat and the rest is history.

Billy Graham found Jesus that night, and he went on to take Jesus to the world. That usher could never have known how God was using him that night through his simple yet faithful service.

Have you ever heard of Edward Kimball? I never had. But he started this story. A Sunday School teacher who went to visit a crabby teenager while he was working.... and the rest, well, it's some awesome history.

So if you feel God suggesting it's time to talk to someone about Him, you might wanna do it. Never know when you might be making a huge influence on not only that person, but the generations to come.

(Source: From the sermon of Dr. Jim Dixon, “Sin and Salvation.” Cherry Hills Community Church , Highlands Ranch, Colorado . January 27, 2008.)

All in One Verse

Exodus 15:22

Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water.

One of the things I have noticed more than every this year is that life is cyclical. My moods are cyclical. The things that happen to me are cyclical. The behaviors of our children are cyclical. The good days come (or the good hours, or even minutes) and then the bad ones do. The ups, the downs, the twists and turns, they keep coming.

It struck me this morning as I read this verse how quickly things changed. Can you imagine the amazing experience it was to cross the Red Sea? That huge miracle -- watching God intervene in an incredible way --- the waters parting, being saved from death, watching the "horse and the rider thrown into the sea!" They had to have left that feeling that God could do ANYTHING.

Except, the next day, give them water! What a contrast! From miraculous intervention when they faced an uncrossable sea -- to God appearing too inept to give them some water.

And imagine Moses having to lead them!

But the interesting thing about God is that he is all about developing US as people, improving OUR character, and making us like Jesus. Sometimes He does this by intervening miraculously in huge ways -- and other times he lets us go without water for three days. He knows that we learn things about ourselves and about Him during both kinds of seasons in our lives.

So whether you are in the middle of a miracle -- or wandering through a thirsty desert, know these things: God is with us and knows and cares, that He is developing character in you and that if you stick around long enough, things will change.

And keep things in perspective. In the book of your life this whole episode may only take up a verse....

Sometimes It's Gotta Be Drastic

From Luke 9:51-62

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family."

Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

This and a quote that my Friend "Advocate Mom" posted on her facebook page, really got me thinking this morning.

‎

"This isn’t just wishwashy ‘manifest your life’ bull crap. If you don’t actually decide what you want to do, you won’t do much of anything."

Everett Bogue

How many of us have things we plan to do for God someday? Or a big idea of something that we think God is calling us to do? It could be anything, big or small, but it is on our list of things to do someday. And someday never comes. We always have one more thing that has to happen first. First, I need to be married. Or, once the kids are born. Then once the kids are in school. Then, once the kids are out of school. Then, once the kids are out of the house (which for some us may never happen!!!). And then we start with ... once teh kids are married, and their kids are born, and their kids are in school.... and eventually life is over and we never do the big thing.

Jesus had to do things drastically. He asked people to leave everything, to not look back, and to follow HIm. He didn't say -- go ahead and tie up lose ends. He said, "Come, Follow Me. NOW!"

So do you have that one thing? Is God calling you to do it now? There are no excuses, according to Jesus, nothing that needs to be done first. It's just time.

We are approaching a stage in our lives when it's time for our next big thing. Adopting twelve kids was a pretty big thing. But I'm excited about what the next thing is God has for us as a family. And once it is revealed, I'm going to plunge in.

So what's your next big thing? It's time.

Returning to Folly

Psalm 85:8-13 (New International Version)

8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say;
he promises peace to his people, his saints—
but let them not return to folly.

9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.

10 Love and faithfulness meet together;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.

11 Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
and righteousness looks down from heaven.

12 The LORD will indeed give what is good,
and our land will yield its harvest.

13 Righteousness goes before him
and prepares the way for his steps.

I love this passage because it talks about great things. Peace, salvation, love, faithfulness, righteousness, a good harvest....

But i love the line "but let them not return to their folly." It's almost as though God is worried that if he gives us some good times we will forget Him and turn away and do our own thing.

When we are in times of crisis when we have no strength of our own, it seems natural as humans to understand our need for God. We move away from some of our "folly" (defined as A lack of good sense, understanding, or foresight. An act or instance of foolishness: We get careless and move away from God.

So here God says -- hey, I'm giving you good stuff. But don't forget about me when I do. Don't let times of peace drive you away from me, but to me, just like the hard times do.

Interesting.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

from Psalm 82:3-4

Give justice to the poor and the orphan;
uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.
Rescue the poor and helpless;
deliver them from the grasp of evil people

This past Sunday my husband preached on Love God/Love Neighbor. The text was the Good Samaritan and he talked about the need for us to follow the command of Jesus that summed up the whole law -- Love God, and Love your Neighbor as yourself.

I have been reading A Whole in Our Gospel lately which is more on this theme.

The point is this: If we love God we will do things like take care of the poor -- rescuing them and giving justice. We will take care of orphans and deliver others from evil. It just happens. It's not a choice. We do not do all this stuff to earn God's approval or love, we do it as an automatic outflow of our relationship with God. And that's a good good thing. If we are in right relationship with God the people around us benefit. Period.

Whose Strength?

Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 4:11

When we do things in our own strength, we are glorified. Sure, it feels good to accomplish something and to know that we have done it, but that is the only reward.

There is something, however, about coming to that point when our strength is gone. To have to rely on God's strength in order to serve and to let HIm have the glory.

I could write much more but I think the words to this Steven Curtis Chapman song "His Strength is Perfect" sum it up better than I could:

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me;
No great success to show, No glory on my own,
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know . . .

CHORUS

We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes;
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end.
He hears our humble cry and proves again . . .

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.

If you'd rather watch it ....

Gripping Hope

From Lamentations 3 (The Message)

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard

Lately we've had some hard days emotionally. Not one horrible thing, but a compilation of years of mistakes our children have made that we somehow manage to blame ourselves for, asking how we could have done things differently. It is very difficult to hold on to hope.

But I'm going to do it. It's the only way I can manage. I am going to "keep a grip on hope" and "wait for hope to appear," remembering that God's mercies are "new every morning." The hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness, that has it's origin in this Scripture, has been a backdrop for most of my life and it remains one.

Hope and faith have to do with seeing beyond now. They have to do with looking forward, not back, with relying on the things we can't see. To possess either hope or faith, we have to let go of the need to know the details, to see the road ahead, but simply to rest in peace knowing that God sees, God knows, and God cares. He can show me as much of the path as I need to see for today, but the rest I can place on HIs shoulders.

Simplistic, probably. True, definitely. Effective if you can manage it, most certainly. I'm keeping my grip on hope.

Filthy Rag Righteousness

From Isaiah 64:

4Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

5 You come to the help of those who gladly do right,
who remember your ways.
But when we continued to sin against them,
you were angry.
How then can we be saved?

6 All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

7 No one calls on your name
or strives to lay hold of you;
for you have hidden your face from us
and made us waste away because of our sins.

8 Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.

9 Do not be angry beyond measure, O LORD;
do not remember our sins forever.
Oh, look upon us, we pray,
for we are all your people.

This Scripture so describes humanity -- week, failing humanity. I was raised in the holiness tradition which prepared me very well to be a pious, righteous person who worked very hard to remain as flawless as I could be. And since I am a black and white thinker, I was good at it. I avoided all the pitfalls of most people's adolescence --- I never smoked, drank, did drugs. Was a virgin at 32 when I married (I know, i know TMI). I didn't even dance and I didn't go to a movie until I was 18. I picked up all the "rules" handed on by my parents, but I somehow missed their spirit of forgiveness and acceptance of those who did not toe the mark. In retrospect that part of them has always been very clear, but I didn't catch it.

So instead of the pitfalls of those nasty outward sins, I fell into others -- gossip, being judgmental, un-forgiving, and not at all gracious. I would spray my opinions about others sins all over them, feeling I had to point them out, and in the process lost many friends. I learned that if you draw a line in the sand, it immediately becomes a circle, with the other person on the outside. If the line stays drawn, they eventually walk away.

But as I have matured I have found myself, though still outwardly avoiding most addictions (not quite overcome food yet, for example), I have recognized those inward sins that line me right up with the rest of the world. And in recognizing that my own "righteous acts" are like filthy rags, I can be freed to receive grace and to offer it to others.

Realizing I"m human has not been easy. Putting myself in the same category as those I spent years feeling I was better than has been humbling but very necessary. And yet it is very freeing to recognize that my own acts are not my salvation. To see God as the potter, and me as clay, often unyielding, stubborn and hardening until God sends something my way to soften me up and help me be more moldable, is the best way to move forward.

Isaiah's plea is one that goes unanswered in this particular passage, but we know from Scripture that God did not remain angry with us forever because of our sin. He sent Jesus. And now we are all products of that grace -- not holy because of our own doing, but righteous in HIS sight because of Christ's death.

Mold me, potter God, that I might become more of the person you want me to be.

A Prophet's Discouragement

From the time I was a teenager I took Spiritual Gifts tests that always resulted in me having the gift of prophecy. While most people think this is about telling the future it's really something a bit different. I like this definition by Daniel Borchers (and no I don't know who he is) but he says:

...the ability to recognize sinful behavior and a driving compulsion to confront individuals, groups and/or cultures. The gift of prophecy is the ability to communicate God’s Word with power, conviction, and clarity, and to apply it to the specific situation of the hearers.” ... Prophecy refers to speaking the truth, especially regarding right and wrong.

It basically means seeing things that don't fit and pointing them out. But having the "gift" stinks sometimes, because it's easier to shut up than it is to confront anyone about anything. I have tamed way down and sometimes just convinced myself that this "truth" I see so clearly is really just my not-so-humble opinion and that I should shut my mouth. In fact, I have done this so much that the last time I took the test, prophecy wasn't showing as one of my gifts. I think that after years of attempting to manage this "gift" I feel like Isaiah did when he wrote these words in Isaiah 49.

But I said, "I have labored to no purpose;
I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing.
Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand,
and my reward is with my God."

I get discouraged, as well, when people want to shut me down or shut me up. The messages that I proclaim are not ones that people want to hear many times. They don't want to hear about grace and mercy, they want to hear about justice. They don't want to hear about forgiveness and loving their enemies, they want to hear about revenge. They don't want to be confronted about their anger, they want to have me say it is justified and allow them to continue to remain in negative patterns. When I see something clearly in Scripture, they don't want me to repeat it if it disagrees with what they are thinking. And so I try to shut myself up. Isaiah was at the same point and yet he realized that his reward was with God and not with other people.

And God's response:

5 And now the LORD says—
he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring Jacob back to him
and gather Israel to himself,
for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD
and my God has been my strength-

6 he says:
"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
to restore the tribes of Jacob
and bring back those of Israel I have kept.
I will also make you a light for the Gentiles,
that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

In other words, "you're doing good, isaiah -- in fact, you got bigger things coming! I have big plans for you. Stop being discouraged, you're going to bring salvation to the whole earth!"

Many of the ideas that I talk to people are not my own. They are straight from Scripture. And yet I have backed down and lately concluded that I"m not going to be able to make a difference because people don't want to hear it. Life has gotten all messy, and simplistic answers don't seem to fit, or so people say. But do they fit? Is it really possible that God is just asking us to do what he called us to do, walk the path ahead, do what is right, speak out when we should, remain convinced God is in charge, and move forward? It might be simplistic, but it's truth.

This morning I heard a song on the radio and I caught a few words I hadn't heard in it before.

I’m not sittin’ down ’til I’m older
And I’m not shuttin’ up ’til it’s over
Raise your hands and shout if you’re with me
Then once we start it won’t make a difference

If you wanna live life loud, throw your hands up
If you wanna scream and shout, lemme hear you
Takin’ all the fakers out if you’re with me
Everybody work it, just keep living

Thirty years ago when I was approaching seventeen I was convinced that I was going to live life loud. I was going to make a difference. I was going to change the world. I'm approaching 47 now, my life more than half over. But am I really done?

I hope not And I hope you're not either. Come on everybody, let's live life loud!

Love Your Enemies...(or your children)

Back to the Moravian text from Luke Chapter 6

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I would never call my children my enemies, but I can't help but put the most difficult ones into this passage and have it have great meaning to me. Kids with attachment disorder often perceive us as the enemy, and thus maybe the word fits in a strange sort of way.

Sometimes I get caught in the bind of withdrawing things from the children who withdraw things from me. If they aren't going to give, then neither am I. If they won't do their part, why should I?

So the Scripture above got my attention. It includes the golden rule, obviously, but the next paragraph hit me between the eyes. It's counter-cultural to love an enemy and be continuously doing good to them. But note: The reward does not come from the enemy. The reward comes from GOd and it isn't always an immediate one either.

I so want to be gracious and merciful, even when my children are not, but it's not an easy task. Sometimes I confess to being irritable and crabby with them, frustrated at their inability to love me back the way I feel I should be loved.

I guess the bottom line is that some days I live like a "common sinner" instead of living like a forgiven, redeemed, beloved child of God. Adoptive parenting has taught me what it must feel like to be God -- as he forgives, and forgives, and forgives us, loves us when we don't love Him in return, and continues to seek us out, to give us those things we need graciously, as we rebel, run, refuse, and do wrong.

I needed to read this passage this morning. I can't say I enjoyed reading it, but I needed it. ANd let me throw in this extra for those who are with me on this one. It's the same version in the Message translation and the language used is almost shocking.

27-30"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

31-34"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

35-36"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

37-38"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."

I'm going to try to live this way today and remember the way that God loves me.

No Need for Words

More on Suffering

1 Peter 5:10

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Powerful verse. Some thoughts:

1) We are going to suffer and for some reason, God waits and let's us suffer for a little while. He doesn't jump in and end the suffering immediately. Instead he let's us feel our pain.

2) God is the God of ALL grace. Grace -- unmerited favor. We don't deserve God's goodness, but he gives it to us anyway.

3) We've been called to God's eternal glory. That shadow seems to overshadow the suffering, doesn't it?

And then Paul says that God himself will do four things for us. Let's define the words as these definitions make the verse so much more powerful:http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Restore: bring back to its former state; to bring back from a state of ruin, decay, disease, or the like; to repair; to renew; to recover.

Confirm: To make firm or firmer; to add strength to; to establish; To strengthen in judgment or purpose; To give new assurance of the truth of; to render certain; to verify;

Strengthen: To make strong or stronger; to add strength to;

Establish: To make stable or firm; to fix immovably or firmly; to set (a thing) in a place and make it stable there; to settle;

Suffering comes to us as I mentioned yesterday, so that we can comfort others. But it also comes so that we can experience God's grace in new ways. Life is a cycle of suffering and being restored, confirmed, strengthened and established so we can face the next round. But instead of a spiral down, it's a spiral up, each time as we go around the circle we are closer to God and stronger than the time before.

During my years as an adoptive parent this has proven so true for me. I can look back -- and so can you -- to my regular blog and see how God has taught me and made me a better person through the hard things we have been through.

Suffering today? After a little while God is going to burst through and restore... confirm... strengthen.... and establish you. AFter all, he IS the God of all grace and you were called according to his eternal purpose.

Simplistic? Possibly. But maybe not so much. Maybe it just makes a whole lot of sense.

You're the Reason I'm Suffering

For some reason, my Moravian Text Email didn't come this morning so I had to go to a "Random Scripture Generator" to provide my passage for reflection this morning. I was amazed as to how much it applied to our lives.

From 2 Corinthians Chapter 1:

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

NObody chooses suffering. At least not intentionally. It's unamerican. In fact, one of the hardest things about my job is that I am actually encouraging people to do hard things, and that is not something we are accustomed to. But hard things do come whether we want them to, even to "normal" people who don't choose them.

Remember the old song by Andre Crouch, "Through it all?" Part of it says, and I quote from memory:

So I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys,
and I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through;
For if i never had a problem, I'd never know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do."

Paul explains all this to the Corinthians in a very logical way. He says:

1) We should praise God in our troubles because it is during those times that we can experience God's comfort.

2) When we experience trouble and then God's comfort, it empowers and enables us to then share that comfort with others when they are in times of trouble.

In fact, he even takes it a step further and suggests that being able to comfort others is the very reason why any of us have troubles in the first place ... so that we can identify with others and help them in their times of distress. And finally, Paul says:

3) We can have a firm hope because we know that all of us can not only share in our sufferings, but also in our comfort.

My past five years of blogging and reading blogs have certainly shown me that this is true. Whether folks want to put it in religious terms or not, we have done a lot of sharing in sufferings and in comforting one another.

SO it's all YOUR fault you know, that I suffer. :-) It's so that I can experience God's comfort and then pass it on to you.

I had a poster when I was a kid that said:

Trouble shared is trouble halved,
joy shared is joy doubled.

Let's halve our trouble, and double our joy!

Above and Beyond What I Think i Need

In order to select my Scripture to reflect on each day (when I am consistently using this blog) I use the Moravian Texts which are emailed to me daily. There are three scripture passages to read through and then a prayer at the end.

The following is from Luke Chapter Five (verses are marked)

17One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. 18Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. 20When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."

21The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, "Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

22Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? 24But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 25Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today."

Now I'm no preacher, but I do know that every good preacher has three points. And in the above passage I, of course, see three things:

1) Sometimes we need help to get in front of Jesus. There are days when we are just too week or too upset or too stressed to find our way to Him. We have to rely on our friends to get us to Jesus in order for us to ask Him for what we need.

2) Sometimes when we take someone to Jesus, He doesn't do what we expect. We think we know what others need. In fact, they think they know. But God can see a deeper need and sometimes He meets that need first. It's our responsibility not to criticize but to simply watch God work in ways that God knows are best.

3) in God's timing He does amazing things that fill us with awe. The people took their friend to Jesus to see him healed. His sins were forgiven AND he was healed. If we can be patient and wait, sometimes all we ask of God is provided with even more stuff added on at the end.

Three concise points, but we need to ask ourselves:

Who do I know that needs to be taken to Jesus today?

Do I need someone to help me get to Jesus?

What do I think I need God to do for me? Is it what God thinks I need?

Do I really believe that God can do exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think, doing even more than I think I need?